Goal Setting in Marriage
When we think of goal setting in marriage together, the imagery that initially comes to mind are often dreams full of ideals.
We imagine ourselves crossing off brilliant or breathtaking tasks with satisfaction, blue ribbons flying, and achieving our life-long dreams hand in hand.
And why not? A few goals really do feel like that when we finally achieve them!
However, most of the time, when we actually meeting the most important goals in life, it’s more like this. We’re working harder than we ever have, putting on more courage than we ever thought we could, and facing seeming impossibilities we thought we would never be able to overcome.
And yet we do…
Yet.
Yet is one of the most powerful and hopeful words in the human language, because reminds us that even when we encounter the obstacles to building our dreams, there is still more to the story.
Yes, though pain and grit and sacrifice will inevitably be part of the journey, cliche as it sounds, what doesn’t kill you does yet make you stronger.
It truly tastes better to achieve a goal that cost more too, it’s more valuable to us.
But if you don’t plan for it to hurt, you quit.
If you don’t pace yourself, you burn out.
If you don’t even intentionally set the goals, there’s no aim.
And more, if we set those goals apart from our spouses and families then we lose team strength and we don’t get to celebrate together.
This month, as we step further forward into goal setting, I welcome you to resurrect those goals you put away that felt too tough, even if it’s just active planning such as if now is not the right time to fully execute them.
But talk about them. Take the steps you need to take. Pray about them if you are people of faith. Hash them out with curiosity, even the ones you don’t think will happen but that your partner is excited about. Take deep breaths in that case and reflect back what your partner is telling you so you can listen without fear.
Most of all this month, don’t just dream. Put some legs on your hopes and make some plans. Check out The Enneagram Glow Relationship Planner to help you plan better!
Release those plans to God but remember this…
Goals must be set or you will leave your hopes behind.
And don’t grab for the the goals without considering your partner. What good will you profit but leave behind your tribe?
Healthy connection brings thriving and survival and it takes work and patience and creativity to make that happen, too.
Remember, we are here for it together!
Find more ways to connect with your spouse in our 5 week relationship course or in our book, “Enneagram in Marriage.”
