Meaning, Purpose, and Community Together
Although I’m so glad we get to live in a world with many diverse populations and varied gifts, it’s also very hard since many are left without opportunities the way we have.
As we are social beings, as we get healthy ourselves, it’s truly life-giving and wise to also take part in community - bringing our gifts in friendship and faith together.
But if you don’t align on everything it can be really hard, both in marriage, but also as a couple searching for healthy community.
If you’re struggling to find space and time with other families and couples seeking higher things, make sure you don’t give up - it may take awhile and marriage loneliness research reminds us we can and sometimes do need to switch friends as needed. However, also HANG ON where you can. Relationships are often very well worth the investment and no one is perfect.
As you navigate, here’s a few tips to help you to approach community spaces with care.
Remember you’re not alone if you’ve recently felt more isolated and that it’s you (or you two) against the world. It’s been part of culture since the early 2000s but even more so after COVID.
Remember that no community, spiritual or otherwise, is perfect. Use your heart, head, and body centers together as a team (if your spouse is willing) to determine if you’re actually dealing with a general community working hard together or if this moment is truly toxic in your community.
If it’s truly toxic, is there anything you can do to be the change, by way of being that fire, that spark of justice and wisdom?
If you’re able to help. and if it’s still toxic, find other spaces, both online and in person, and give yourself time to find new spaces - heal and just visit places in the meantime but don’t wander for too long- commitment has value.
Don’t go it alone. As Sara reminded us on the show, it’s truly a blessing to cover one another with the gifts we each imperfectly bring, across the 9 types and beyond! We are all part of cultural shadows, not just others.
Don’t spend time in groups where you have a gut instinct about someone with your partner. Marriages are long and satisfaction generally decreases over time for those not doing their work. It’s important to keep what you’ve worked hard for with good and active boundaries as needed.
Looking for more-check out our free resources here or check out “The Enneagram in Marriage book.”
