Pausing for Reflection
In the day to day of marriage, we may forget to stop and look at the overall picture.
Today I am challenging you to remember the healing you’ve given to one another. We do this all the time with God or personally, in most cases.
In biblical terms, this is called an ebenezer - stopping to remember the healing from God. Similarly, in some African traditions, we have the term, “sankofa” - reminding us to go back to get what was lost and to heal with that in mind.
I want you to look back and see how you have each given to one another so you can spend time in gratitude.
I ask this because I think it’s very often that we get what we initially sought out in our spouse and now we want something else so we forget to be thankful for what they gave or taught or healed in us.
We may also make excuses for how we learned lessons, remembering other teachers and mentors but forgetting the very rich gifts we bring to one another in our Glow together and the new ways we have shone in the world together as a family because of each other.
Yes. in the “heal” phase of a relationship we truly share some of our personality and essential gifts. And I don’t think it’s wise for us to forget that. It makes us selfish and prone to wander or just to feel discontent.
As a reminder, check out the Glow Stages here!
With this in mind, I ask you to take a step of intention. I ask you to tangibly remember what your spouse has done to heal you. There are pages designed just for this in the Glow planner also this month, as well as some questions for you to ask, but the end goal is the same whether you’re active in the planner or not.
Will you choose to set aside time to talk about this? I did this with Wes this month and - I’ll be honest - it was vulnerable. But it was beautiful and just setting aside time on a date for us to talk that through really inspired us with gratitude for one another and all we have done to help shift and change one another. It was so good!
Did your spouse help you to be more extroverted? Did they partner with you so you could experience being a parent? Did they help you to save financially or to reduce shame?
Take time to discover this and even if your spouse isn’t doing this with you, I promise, focusing in on the gifts your spouse has given you WILL give you joy!
Find more ways to connect with your spouse in our 5 week relationship course or in our book, “Enneagram in Marriage.”
