Solving Conflict on a Vacation
“Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.” - Maya Angelou
As much as the above idealistic adage us true, it’s also true 40% of couples argue on vacation.
As much as it’s fun to get away, adventure sadly won't solve all your marriage problems.
Sometimes you or your spouse will be in a "mood" on your adventures, or let’s face it, you will.
First off…
Marriage problems on adventures are completely normal, even if not ideal.
So instead of carrying a mood around your whole vacation, don’t just pretend it didn’t happen like you’re in a fairytale. Instead, find time to solve the problem or at least come to an understanding!
Here are 5 tips for working through conflicts while you’re on a trip or vacay so your whole time isn’t ruined.
Tell your partner what happened. Don’t accuse. Share feelings of vulnerability. Use words like scared, sad, or worried, versus angry, annoyed, or mad (a secondary emotion to sadness or fear).
Don’t make it a global issue and use words like “always” and “never.” Do save HUGE arguments like that for home or with a counselor. Keep it isolated.
Do take time to ask for compromise and respect, and offer both grace and compliments. People are more likely to change when they feel cherished and wanted versus disrespected or in threat of abandonment. Give respect also. “I know you would never want to offend me. You’re the best person I know. Still, I felt hurt when…”
Make sure you take a break to transition back into your next activity versus expecting the mood to shift right away. Take a nap, a shower, or take a quick walk around the block.
Take deep breaths, have a good cry, wash your face, and let it go. It’s time to enjoy and to turn towards one another again!
