Enneagram 4 Deeper Dive
“Atticus, he was real nice."
"Most people are, Scout, when you finally see them.” ― Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird
As the beautiful Harper Lee quite above details, it's so important to take time and depth to truly try to see into the soul of another, to see their pain, their journey, and to be a witness to their experience. This taking the time to see deeply is a great start to talking about the life of the Enneagram 4!
Yes, our Enneagram 4s long to have the depth and understanding about themselves and others, and today I'm so thankful that we get to work on understanding them. The truth is however, sometimes 4s resist being fully understood. They love being unique and would rather we just try to understand them and spend time with them versus try to label them or say we've got them figured out.
With that tall order, we enter the beautifully complex domain of the 4. As many of you know, 4s are the truest creatives and deepest souls of the Enneagram and we all do well when we take a piece of this and try to put it on with their example in the lead.
On this podcast, you’ll learn how a 4 moves through the world at their best and most balanced in this streamlined, clarity-bringing episode series. As you may know, we’re diving one by one into each type in marriage, and today this episode is here for you.
As Jenn and I are take you through these walk-throughs of each of the Enneagram types, our goal is to give you a detailed look at ways each of them can thrive and be refreshed in a life and marriage setting.
As we cover type 4 on today's episode, we discuss:
The gifts and best traits of a 4
The three subtypes of a 4 (4s want to let go of the sense of feeling broken and alone but each of them does something different with their depths, depending on their subtype)
How to manage the envy/contemplative brooding or depressive melancholy of a 4 (their passion and fixation)
What to do when the 4 is feeling unable to move or get out of their feelings and ruminations
The growth path for the 4 as they incorporate virtue and the best features from other complementary types (commonly called wings and arrows).
Tips for a 4 learning that lamenting and being contemplative isn't the only way to walk through life's difficulties
And perhaps most importantly, we share tips for type 4 individuals to help them to bring their spouses and friends toward them in a more authentic, steady way that displays the 4 in both the deepest but also some brighter hues, as they learn to resist the push-pull in relationships their actions and introverting can bring. When a 4 can stay even with people who fail to love them fully in their ideals and also learn to manage their shame, it's a delight to see them become not just deep and melancholy but joyful and arguably the most creative of all of the types. When a 4 puts these traits on, it's mesmerizing to say the least, as the 4 tends to captivate their people with their artistry, depths, and compassion.
I hope you are so encouraged by these deep dives as you check out these special episodes. I'm experiencing so much joy creating these and the PDF guides we made for you also! The PDFs go even deeper for several hours of reading, with the deeper arrow routes, relaxation exercises, and tips for your marriage across all the seasons of life including dating, engagement, kids at home, middle marriage, and the retirement years also.
