Emotional Self-Care
Whether you’ve already got the coffee pot warmed up or barely cracked an eye today, you’re in for a treat this week as you begin a fresh focus on emotional self-care, especially as we begin to take better care of you in these three areas-heart, mind, and body.
You can’t properly balance in life if you don’t pause before you pivot or move. Your emotions aren't safe to tap into if you're ready for attack, either.
This week, I also want you to give your heart a pause so you have some space to process. This is a part of great marriage care truly. The more healthy and healing work you do on yourself, the more you have to bring to your marriage, trust me!
Perhaps you’re logical and don’t feel there’s enough time for stopping all of your plans and movement in the world, but the truth is, you need emotional care. Not just lamenting or crying but care, though these things may be part of it for some.
In addition to the questions you do alone or together, make sure you ask yourself and/or one another these questions for a deeper dive:
What do I know I love doing that makes me feel loved and cared for? Is it a date night with your partner or just by yourself? You and your spouse spooning together? A special seasonal candle lit next to you as you read? Is it booking travel plans? Reading a magazine about your favorite hobby? I love reading Outside magazine even when I’m outside, ironically. Just dreaming of our adventures gives me an emotional boost.
Take a moment to consider and write down what you’ll do to relax emotionally this week and be sure to plan it out. Allow your spouse to join in the fun if you like. Studies show that intentional planning and writing things out makes them more likely to happen. Check out our Enneagram Glow Relationship Planner to help you be intentional with balancing your instincts and your intentional time together!
As you plan on some TLC with yourself and your partner this week, I also want to dig just a bit deeper!
What is your heart saying you need more of?
Having trouble accessing your heart space? Consider talking with a trusted friend or getting a coach for support!
Remember not to push your spouse and give grace in all of this!
Also, if it doesn't come naturally for you to take this time, go on a walk or drive and talk it out aloud or journal out some encouraging words to yourself or say a prayer from your heart to figure out what you need more of emotionally in your life.
Also, be sure to talk with your spouse about your heart longings this week.
See if there is anything you need to lovingly pay attention to as you consider whether:
You have any heartbreak you need to process and get moving on from...
There is anyone who you need to make things right with or heal (such as your spouse)...
You’re burying sadness and pain and you need to address what it's doing in your life...
If you're doing any of this, take some time to consider your woundedness. What are you feeling? Why are you triggered in this way? Are you feeling an old wound? Did someone say something that still stings?
Remind yourself that you are truly beloved even when others get upset with you or your marriage feels less than perfect. Remind yourself of good things you can do to move ahead.
If what you uncover is intense and traumatic, be sure to walk this road with a trained expert so you’re not alone. You can also read the wonderful book, Try Softer by Aundi Kolber as you gently bring your heart back into health and healing. There is an accompaniment journal if you need that as well. I did both and they were quite good!
All the while, don’t forget to enjoy mainly positive relaxing emotional self-care this week too!
Watch a rom-com, grab a hot, steamy London Fog at Starbucks, or just enjoy one of your favorite albums on repeat. Investing in yourself emotionally is worth it as you let down stress so make sure you do something fun that just brings joy to your heart this week, whether a few times or every single day, depending on how much you're needing replenishment!
You’ll always need balance in your life, so the sooner you start practicing it, the better!
Find more ways to connect with your spouse in our 5 week relationship course or in our book, “Enneagram in Marriage.”
