Enneagram 7 Deep Dive
"There’s somewhere you’re supposed to go, and if you get quiet enough, you’ll make it.” - Robert Downey Jr.
As we delve deep into the fast-paced mind of an Enneagram 7 on this episode of the podcast, RDJ’s incessantly-running brain (Sherlock, Iron Man) is a great place to begin to give you a visual of this whirring type.
Yes, as many of you know by now, the sensory-seeking Enneagram 7 in marriage likes to keep it innovative, interesting, and playful. They almost never unload their deep feelings onto their spouse, preferring to keep emotions at bay while they stay upbeat.
The 7 keeps their minds and bodies busy in tinkering in projects or passions and this helps with keeping the negative feelings out, for better and for worse. There is also an endless variety of ideas since 7s are extremely fast synthesizers of information and adept learners if they give themselves over to focus.
Each type has a special gift and Enneagram expert Don Riso called the healthy 7 the most widely talented of the types with their quick, problem-solving acuity paired with their kinesthetic dexterity. They also exude joy and wonder in just being alive and bring this enthusiasm to their loved ones in both work and play.
In view of all of this, my advice to spouses of a 7 as we take a deeper dive may sound ironic.
Take it slow and steady. Although they crave speed, fun, and adventure in life, 7s need safety and depth in relationships.
However, it takes a freedom-loving 7 a lot of faith and time to build genuine safety together. This is because 7s typically have a history of a loss of nurture and trust so they are often unsure of how to stay with deep, vulnerable feelings without pulling away. This is because their core belief is that they will have to do life on their own without help so emotions feel like a threat they can't afford.
Thankfully, Jenn and I will help both 7s and their spouses to approach managing the emotions as well as the busy minds and bodies of the 7 on today's streamlined, clarity-bringing episode, including:
The gifts and best traits of a 7
The three subtypes of a 7 (7s want to avoid emotional pain by staying busy in different ways)
How to deal with the passion (gluttony of the senses) and fixation (planning) of the 7
The growth path for the 7 as they incorporate their virtue of sobriety and the best features from other complementary types (commonly called wings and arrows).
How to walk through conflict and communication in marriage with a 7 who has a tendency to run from both the intimate heart moments and the important negative emotions that must be addressed
Though there are many tips on this episode for both spouses and those relating to 7, one of them is the truest of all. You will find that a beautiful, safe, and deep connection will result when you add depth and emotions, not just mental or sensate processing into the life of 7. Change comes in small steps, but be brave. You're worth it!
As you explore the 7 in marriage to the depths, remember the PDFs we’ve created go even deeper than the podcasts for several hours of reading!
