Leslie Hershberger and Using the Centers Approach to Conflict

“The past is our definition. We may strive with good reason to escape it or escape what is bad in it. But we will escape it only bu adding something that is better to it.” - Wendell Berry

I love troubleshooting relationships and although I’m not a type 6, I love how Leslie Hershberger reminds us on this podcast episode that if you “scratch” either a 7 or a 5 you get a 6. In other words, all thinking types share this feature of planning and troubleshooting relationships both for better and for worse.

On this episode, as she and I troubleshoot conflict together with you, we are reminded that there are implicit patterns in how all the nine types protect and sometimes overprotect ourselves from being hurt in relationships.

I’m so thankful because Leslie is one of the best Enneagram and relationship researchers out there to walk us through this. Not only has she been an Enneagram scholar for twenty-five years, but she’s also been married for forty years to her type 9 hubby Dave!

Today Leslie particularly helps us to see some of the most common and hurtful mistakes we make as primary feelers, thinkers, or doer in regards to relationship. She helps us to look gently at where we've been on the journey of life, as well as ahead at how we could do things with more connection, more balance, and more grace.

Coming from the Christian contemplative perspective, Leslie is compassionate, has a heart of humility (and reminds us we are all in process), as well as a gentle way of challenging us even as she laments with us about the things that are not easy to move forward on even when we know they are right.

I also share my interview with her on our brand new E + M YouTube channel. Yes, for those visual learners among us, we’ve got you covered now! I also shared our Bea Chestnut interview here, as well as the Valentine’s conference and I will keep sharing there over time so make sure you subscribe there also!

Without further ado, have a wonderful time learning with me from Leslie right here on the pod!