Father Wounds: Chosen Exercises

Yesterday on the podcast, we unpacked a really big question. The question about father wounds is huge and could never be addressed in one podcast or even one blog because it goes so deep.

There are so many reasons why father wounds are involved in the lives of people.

When I think about my own father invoking a wound on me, for instance, I reflect on the fact that his own father was largely absent. How do we address wounds when there’s no one to blame and when we ourselves have perhaps even passed on a father wound ourselves or a mother wound?

When you’re addressing a father wound, one of the first steps is to make sure you’re not living in a way that suggests that you don’t believe that you are loved. This is of the essence because so many people live this way without even realizing it.

Examples of somebody living like they’re not loved include shrinking away from community and trying to do everything on their own because they don’t trust people and also making excuses when somebody does show them something loving. Another example is somebody who doesn’t take time to care for themselves because they believe they are not worth the care.

Have you struggled with knowing that you are beloved, my friend?

There is no shame in admitting that you have struggled here but I also want to comfort you and remind you of something today.

You are loved and cared about. You are part of creation, and a beautiful part of that because you are here desiring growth.

Look with me today to see if you have an unresolved father wound.

How did your dad treat you growing up if he was present?

Was he largely absent or supportive or abusive?

If your relationship with your dad was unhealthy growing up, this week it’s worth a journaling session. Maybe you even write him a letter that you don’t send.

Maybe you for yourself and him a little bit by offering intergenerational forgiveness while holding some boundaries.

Maybe you even invite your spouse in for a conversation about this, because you’re starting to believe that you’re worth it as a part of creation to process this a bit more.

I believe that your self-protecting defenses, whether sexual or social or self-preserving strictly will be less intense as you do the work of trying to see family patterns and trying to break chains of dysregulation.

I am here with you doing the work and I pray that the warmth of your glow would be evident as you work to balance the elements in your life.