Make Time for Reflection

As we wrap up the end of the month on self care, it’s the perfect time to reflect on what kind of balance you achieved this month - it’s time to celebrate victories (no matter how small!) as well as to figure out what went wrong.

It’s only in a time of reflection that we can truly understand what has happened and move forward with wisdom together, right?

Take some time to look back on this month as a whole together or on your own this week, preferably both. A good time to do this is at a desk with a journal, on a drive, or on a walk so you don’t fall to sleep or find yourself distracted.

Don’t skip, whatever you do. We are going to use the foundations from this first month together to discover life lessons for you to thrive.

Consider asking yourself these questions:

Did you realize you have certain peak performance times of day or month even if it’s a bit of a sacrifice? What are they?

Are there ways you enjoy replenishing together that you need to get on the calendar? Try using the Enneagram Glow Relationship Planner to achieve that!

Did you discover an imbalance in taking care of your head, heart, and body?

Did you realize certain aspects of self care will never happen unless you prepare and plan?

I hope you did some good digging like this because I asked you to be scientists of yourself this in terms of self care and I bet you are! 

I was telling Wes this week that one thing I learned is how we can accidentally sabotage one another in our self care if we’re not a team in certain aspects, especially with how busy we get. He agreed and also lamented that he didn't get to work out like he wanted as he and about half of our community got Covid and he didn’t prioritize it on other days. 

I reflected on my need for rest together, not only in light of the above realizations, but in light of the fact that our son gets up with us and wants to be together from that first minute of his day. As much as we will work with him on fostering independence, it's also a process to find times we can have just for the two of us without making him feel badly. Date night then is more essential than I realized, and there were a couple of weeks I didn't carve it out with care so we had mini-dates instead. I realized I need these weekly times to connect, however, and as I move ahead, I know I will need to schedule them in more.

If we don't stop to consider all of this, we can just both, in our natures, plow on, neither wanting to give in to human limits. It can create chaos if left unchecked or adrenal fatigue. I know this the human experience and I remind you of that today, whatever your particulars.

What area(s) did you learn you need balance in? How will you practice this with intention?

Add them on your calendar as non-negotiable all year now that you know this.

Is it sleep? Eating well? Monitoring hormones for peak performance? Planning dates and intimacy? Massages or water intake like one of my clients this week? Time with loved ones? Workouts? Daily walks or prayer sessions?

What fills you up the most alone and together?

Take a moment on this. It will build you up ALL year.

Your mind and body will thank you, as will your heart when you open up to these times of healing so you can give better. 

Try to find pockets of time for this as well as let go with grace when you need to wait a little bit longer and not force it. You’ve got a lifetime together so just do your best even as you strive!

Find more ways to connect with your spouse in our 5 week relationship course or in our book, “Enneagram in Marriage.”