Processing Anger in Marriage

Connection is what brings true safety and security, the biggest desire of humanity. Communicating with your frontal cortex of the brain is good indeed, but feeling deeply safe and attached is the goal.

As we are striving for connection in marriage, we find many facets of communication that can truly trouble us!

Anger is one of those facets - as a natural but complex emotion - and as such, we mist truly try to learn how to process together. As such, I want to remind you of the fact that each Enneagram type processes anger in a different manner.

Some of us, if you may remember, are more logical, others more positive, and still others more emotional. Learn more about this in our deep dive guides here!

Find out what your spouse specifically needs in terms of emotional, logical, and positive communication and try to move towards it.

It may initially make you more angry as you consider how you are being assigned to lean in to their style but just remember that if you do...

You will get to work through your reason for being angry!

And that brings the peace and the great connection that you truly crave deep down! 

Just make sure you get specific. Do they need you to show more care? To be less emotional? To end on a positive?

Pay attention - your peace is tied up with that indeed!



Find more ways to connect with your spouse in our 5 week relationship course or in our book, “Enneagram in Marriage.”