True Romance is in the Everyday

Romance isn't only the picture perfect movie scenes with candles, flowers, and sweet music playing in the background. Of course, we all love that and enjoy watching those romantic movie scenes as two people fall in love. But, let's face it, that isn't everyday life.

Instead, true romance is in the everyday. It is the actions and behaviors of two people who are in love that show affection, care, and attention. These behaviors can be seen in bringing your spouse coffee in bed, making his favorite meal, or running her a bath and lighting a few candles. Romance can be everywhere if we take the time to look for it and be intentional about creating it.

Create more intentional time together with our Enneagram Glow Relationship Planner!

That's right, I said it-being intentional. The days get busy and it may seem frivolous or even trivial to prioritize romance, but in fact, that can be the glue that holds marriages together and keeps them thriving. 

Life gets messy and storms arise, making us feel like we just need to get through our days. However, if we have moments of joy and connection with our spouses, not only are we happier, but we are also better able to face whatever comes our way. Romance and affection build connection, making us feel like we are part of a team, rather than trying to overcome the challenges alone.

We are going to prioritize romance in hopes of building a stronger connection to our spouse and even re-igniting some passions that may have burned out. In doing this, we must remember that we are all different and what one person thinks is romantic may be torture for another.

While I may love a hot bath with candles and soft music, my husband much prefers physical touch.

So let's take a moment this week and think about our stances. Types 3, 7, and 8 have aggressive stances and move toward their partners. However, types 4, 5, and 9 have withdrawing stances and move against their partners. While types 1, 2, and 6 lean into what others feel and need with a dependent stance. 

Knowing your stance, as well as your partners will help you to better understand how to grow closer to your spouse, and also what areas you need to challenge yourself in. Want more info on stances? Check out our deep dive guides here.

As an aggressive stance, I tend to chase after Wes and have be known to rush from from activity to another. When I slow down, I am able to be more mindful and appreciate the present moment. 

So take the time and think about how your stance affects your interactions with your partner?

Use that knowledge to plan your romantic time together and schedule your intentional time together. Notice whether your stance distracts you from connecting together and how you can improve that. 

How are you doing with planning 6 to 10 hours of intentional time per week, including one date night? If you struggled with this in the past, let's get better and push harder to make this happen!

We were a little lax on dates at the end of January but February is our dating anniversary and we are saving lots of special dates together. 

I encourage you too to make this month special. Sit down with your spouse and your February calendar, and plan it! Check out the great dates by type and choose a few that interest you. You don't have to stick to only your own or your spouses types, but rather read through them all and talk with your spouse about what's fun.

Remember trying new things and going to new places is sure to bring fun and excitement into your marriage!

Find more ways to connect with your spouse in our 5 week relationship course or in our book, “Enneagram in Marriage.”