What kinds of stories are you telling?

The stories you tell about your marriage matter so much.

It’s plain and simple that so many couples want a good marriage, but instead of actually being in one and naming the good one they’re already in, they’re scanning for problems (which we totally get, it’s a human problem!)

In your marriage this week, I want you to take the three elements that we got to hear about on the podcast this week, and really bring them into your relationship. (Try to delight in your spouse, try to tell healthy stories, and try to connect. Hint: the first two will bring the third).

Even if this is a relationship that is in a very busy season, you can always text or call or bring healthy stories into it.

How you can do this specifically, either on a date night or on one of the small exchanges you have?

You can tell the story about your marriage or yourself in a way that helps your spouse to really feel connected with you. Here are a list of short ideas:

1. You can tell your spouse your stories from your childhood that you never told them, and be intentional to tell one story this week. You can also link this to one of your dates by saying something effective, it never tasted so good ice cream never tasted so good When I really worked hard for my granddad and then got to go to the local farmers market with him.

2. Take time to talk about one of your old dates. We love going to festivals and this is our 20th year of going to that jazz festival together. We missed a few, but we really try hard not to mess up.

3. You can also tell stories about the grand scheme of your marriage in the bigger picture of the blessings that have come from it.

Ex: “It all started with us two falling in love,” you might say. In fact, I noticed this when I went to a friend’s house that they had a sign up at their entry that said as much.

These stories are so essential and there are so many negative stories in culture and about marriage in long-term relationships.

The good news is that you get to decide that intentional marriage is very different from the stories we hear, and that your marriage is intentional.

I’m so very proud of you for finding the positive without letting go of what needs to be discussed. If you need more support, consider reaching out to a certified E+M coach here.

I am so proud of you for knowing how to keep your temper by taking deep breaths when it is very important, and also staying in to connect even if it’s hard.

Let these stories you tell be a supplement to the hard work you’re doing so that you can truly remember it’s all worth it, even though sometimes the little moments are hard.

When you do sprinkle in these wonderful storytelling elements, your spouse and your whole family begin to feel that with you.

That’s one of my favorite things about narrative work. Seeing my family change in our countenance and affect has made me so grateful for this kind of work in our lives.

This is one of my favorite ways of doing so. I hope you love it, too!

It will truly bring your glow out so much more!