An exercise just for you

When our spouses are not meeting our needs, it’s easy to just pinpoint their flaws. Your inner script may say, they are negative or they see the world in black-and-white, instead of light, like we see in our image above.

Perhaps we focus in on the fact that they don’t share the same main instinct as us or we lament past choices they’ve made.

As we learned on the podcast yesterday, if you had a chance to listen yet, we are reminded that we need to look into the mirror to see if we have any flaws too as we lean out to judge.

And as we gaze within and without to ask - why? Are we villains or just humans?

From this honest place, ask yourself:

Am I being kind to them? To us? To myself? Am I showing up for my marriage in a way that is loving or sabotaging generally?

Unless you think you have no room to grow in any of the five love languages and you’re serving your mate with perfect love, you’re probably also in the human camp. And this is a good thing, because you will find compassion together right here.

Take some time today to thank your spouse just for being them.

Add this gratitude exercise to yourself also when time permits. Write down the things you don’t like about yourself or them, whatever comes to mind in a span of two minutes or so. Cover the word words with this bigger word - grace - and any other words to remind you of what you’re grateful for.

And then let the light and the passion stream back in. You have grace for all of it, given by God, given to yourself, and reminded by me today.

You are both so worthy to be loved.

I hope you let Your day unfold a little differently as you consider this fiery and beautiful truth.

Find more ways to connect with your spouse in our 5 week relationship course or in our book, “Enneagram in Marriage.”