Bringing Back Your Personal Regulation
Many times, we get so especially busy with work, kids, and family.
It’s so easy to forget to prioritize our rest and reuptake time and that’s why yesterday I really wanted to focus in on bringing in a relaxing summer on the podcast with the summer mystery episode.
We all, however, come to relaxation in different ways - and this includes even spouses relaxing differently from one another (as you well know, surely :).
I want to remind you this week, as you try to balance all of yiur daily tasks with our ongoing work together of really reigniting the fires of love…
I invite you to balance your own self-care with your marriage care - let’s be real. They can and do sometimes overlap but they don’t always overlap.
I don’t know which way you specifically tend to pivot when you’re off-center or burning dim, but let me remind you of this: you simply can’t get regulated in your marriage if you’re not feeling like yourself at a decent level of mental health. Need more support? Consider getting a coach to help guide you in this process!
For some of us, personal regulation actually comes through being social, it comes from being together, it comes from community.
Others of us truly need the one-to-one moments to hit that magical reset.
And still others of us truly need some time to just be by ourselves - to just know that we can stop and think and rest quietly.
I don’t want you to feel bad about the way you’re wired in terms of these areas - none are better than the others.
Instead, I want you to instead be tenacious for them - your need for personal regulation is not in question - it’s priority!
But I just want you to bring in the balance of the other two since we know that’s needed also. Just as we need all three intelligence centers (brain, body, heart), we need all three of these instincts.
As you get regulated with balance, here are a few reminders:
Lean into your main instinct with intention this week.
Note I did not say over intention or to the exclusion of the others — but certainly — with intention.
Ask your spouse how they’re doing in the instincts also and practice supporting and balancing with them this week also!
