Can I use the Enneagram with My Kids?

For many of my clients, the Enneagram has been incredibly eye-opening. You may be in the same place where learning about the Enneagram has taught you so much about yourself and maybe even your spouse. In your marriage, you may have learned how to better communicate, deal with conflict, and give your spouse more grace and understanding.

If the Enneagram has transformed you and your marriage, it’s only natural to extend this learning into other areas of your life. That leads many of my clients to asking if they can use the Enneagram with their kids and “type” them.

I put type in quotes because we shouldn’t type or identify anyone else. Also children are still developing and the rate of which they do so, is very nuanced.

However, we can loosely “type” our children or have them take the Enneagram test here to have a starting point. In doing so, we can learn how to better parent our children and interact with them in the healthiest way possible.

In this episode, I dedicate time talking with both my teen daughters about what it’s like to do personality work powerfully in the developmental early years, as well as the high school and college years.

We talk about the pros, cons, and even the annoying parts about being typed as a kid. We also discuss some of the amazing growth Hannah, a 4, and Melody, a 9, have had in their lives and relationships already. This has been imperative in their sister glow too, especially due to their types when one wants to go so deep emotionally and the other really prefers to stay comfortable.

I don't want anyone to rush if their child is not ready (my son steps in for a cameo and he's not quite ready!). However, when you hear the girls on, you’ll literally feel just how helpful it was to find out their types as they share their journey of mistyping and then discovering their true types. They also vulnerably share about being left out, finding identity (my 4), and power (my 9) as well as grace for themselves and others of all types. Here it is!