Celebrate the Journey

Healing and change doesn’t happen over night. In fact, sometimes it can feel so painstakingly slow or non-existent.

Just remember that change and growth is done in increments.




I would argue we selected spouses in most cases even on the basis of this - we deeply felt that they would help us to do the work we were unwilling to do on our own.

So how do we balance it?

I hate to answer the question with the question as a part of it but in this case, it's true. We balance.

Tell your spouse this week that you love the way they hold the two of you toward growth - whether it's that they remind you to go deeper or to relax, let them know you're grateful for that. Hopefully, they will respond in turn that they appreciate you also. This is often the case.If you push and you push yourself or your spouse to perfection or to constant processing, you will truly weary one another.

Don't judge your spouse if they have more or less of a capacity to process with you right now, just try to find a rhythm that works for you both. 

There are intense couples who want to talk about difficulties a little more and couples who really prefer to stay light. We also have couples, more often than not, out there, who push one another in a new direction, toward growth.

When they don't, however (as you will not always agree), I want you to celebrate that about yourself and the hard work you're doing for your family and others.

As such, let me encourage you on the journey. 

I know when you try new healthy shifts your spouse is not always sure what to do and it can cause stress between you. You both get dysregulated at times.

However, hear this.

It’s still worth it. Love them (and yourself) through it. 

I know you too make mistakes as you’re trying to immerse in the work of changing some deeply laden patterns.

But can I just let you know I greatly celebrate your courage? When I lift up prayers each week for this community, I am in awe of knowing you’re doing your work out there with me.



These harder immersion stage moments, where we truly duck down to heal on a deeper level and rise up to try out new patterns. are the moments to make sure we don’t do a spiritual bypass.

I welcome you to self care and time with God this month as a reminder of this.

Not just time in lament or even just time in worship although both are great. I welcome you to time aligning yourself to God’s best for you as you grow. Feel free to share prayer requests with us here specifically if you ever desire.




Though seasons change, though you change, though your family, life, work, everything - changes, you are doing beautiful work out there. Thank you for that.

Find more ways to connect with your spouse in our 5 week relationship course or in our book, “Enneagram in Marriage.”