Enneagram 8 Deep Dive
"I really think a champion is defined not by their wins but by how they can recover when they fall." - Serena Williams
As we delve deep into the high-powered Enneagram 8 on the brand new episode of the Enneagram and Marriage pod, I am so reminded of the living tennis legend Serena Williams! By the way, I highly recommend the recent movie based upon her family story, King Richard*.
It’s a true joy to watch an 8 in their element as you well know. They stand up for whatever they believe in, and they long for respect, loyalty, and the freedom to be strong in their marriages. Though they have come to expect struggle, they don't like to let their losses be anything more than temporary setbacks. The powerful no-nonsense ways they both assertively approach conflicts and revel in sweet victories and fun often make 8s a very attractive choice as a partner and spouse!
Yes! The 8 keeps their eye on the prize and isn’t afraid to chart a new path, to help someone who is downtrodden, and to rise all the way to victory at the top even if that makes them unpopular sometimes.
Yes, to be sure, the 8 has the special leadership gift and one more thing - they don’t like to be vulnerable.
This can make relationships, which require healthy vulnerability, a little more complex but nothing we can't work on together! For starters, 8 spouses must remember this.
Open your heart to them and they will do the same in time. Although they are strong leaders, they will meet you where you're at if you stand in and if you don't hurt them in a deep way, as you stand strong, they will be your loyal friends and defenders for life.
However, it takes a deeply powerful 8 who has been hurt the ability to forgive a spouse who makes some big mistakes in the marriage. This is because vulnerability has cost them a great deal and like anyone else, they want to feel safe in regards to partnership and trust.
Thankfully, Jenn and I will help both 8s and their spouses to approach managing the instincts as well as the minds and hearts of the 8 on today's streamlined, clarity-bringing episode, including:
The gifts and best traits of a 8
The three subtypes of an 8 (8s want to be powerful in varying ways)
How to deal with the passion (lust) and fixation (vengeance) of the 8
The growth path for the 8 as they incorporate their virtue of innocence and the best features from other complementary types (commonly called wings and arrows).
How to walk through conflict and communication in marriage with a 8 who has a tendency to power through the things that may need time, space, emotional care, or lightness
Though there are many tips on this episode for both spouses and those relating to 8, one of them stands out. Your 8 wants to be proved wrong in their belief that vulnerability will hurt them. Show them they can lean on you in vulnerable moments. 8s want to reach out and find that although no one is perfect, you can be trusted to fight for them in the same passionate ways they fight for you!
As you explore the 8 in marriage to the depths, remember the PDFs we’ve created go even deeper than the podcasts for several hours of reading!
