Enneagram Vices to Virtues in Marriage

The Enneagram vices in marriage make a huge difference in the ways we relate or get stuck as spouses. When we're feeling like we've messed up too many times to count, when grace feels too far away, and when our vices have just gotten us to the point of being exhausted, sometimes it feels like not only are we stuck in our life and relationships, but that we're stuck in our personal growth journey also.

It's sooo important to be real with all of that so we don't feel alone and yet we don't want to stay stuck either.

In times like this, we NEED community more than anything.

That's why, in addition to the tips below, I'd love for you to join us for a meaningful conversation on second chances, redemption, and so much more on today's E + M podcast right here! Tyler Zach, author, pastor, and Enneagram 3 not only walks us through the narratives of so many faith heroes and their own pitfalls into their vices (we go through the vices and virtues of all 9 types!), but he also shares a model for deconstructing and then reconstructing on the faith journey healthily as we walk through crazy times in culture.

Here are all of the vices and virtues in marriage in the meantime:

Type 1 - In an unhealthy 1 state, you can be angry to the point of deep rage that gets repressed as “annoyance”, usually until you feel you are absolutely right when it all spills out and gets pointed to your closest person, usually your spouse. Listen further to the work to get from the vice of anger to the virtue of serenity of type 1 on our podcast and Deep Dive on type 1. We also have lots of freebies on learning more about the tendencies of a 1 right here!

Type 2 - In an unhealthy 2 state, you have the vice of pride that gets played out by thinking you are the best giver and that others should serve you on account of this. Listen further to the work to get from the vice of pride to the virtue of humility of the type 2 on our podcast and Deep Dive on type 2. We also have lots of freebies on learning more about the tendencies of a 2 right here!

Type 3 - In an unhealthy 3 state, you have the vice of self-deceit that blocks you from being your authentic self in a relationship. Listen further to the work to get from the vice of the 3 to the virtue of truth on our podcast and Deep Dive on type 3. We also have lots of freebies on learning more about the tendencies of a 3 right here!

Type 4 - In an unhealthy 5 state, you have the vice of envy that blocks you from engaging with your gifts instead of jealously viewing others. Listen further to the work to get from the vice of the 4 to the virtue of equality (all have equal worth and are beloved) on our podcast and Deep Dive on type 4. We also have lots of freebies on learning more about the tendencies of a 4 right here!

Type 5 - In an unhealthy 5 state, you have the vice of self-deceit that blocks you from being your authentic self in a relationship. Listen further to the work to get from the vice of the 5 to the virtue of flow or outpouring on our podcast and Deep Dive on type 5. We also have lots of freebies on learning more about the tendencies of a 5 right here!

Type 6 - In an unhealthy 6 state, you have the vice of fear that blocks you from trusting yourself and leaning too heavily on others for your safety. Listen further to the work to get from the vice of the 6 to the virtue of courage on our podcast and Deep Dive on type 6. We also have lots of freebies on learning more about the tendencies of a 6 right here!

Type 7 - In an unhealthy 7 state, you have the vice of gluttony and overdoing that blocks you from processing your deeepest emotions and focusing in a relationship. Listen further to the work to get from the vice of the 7 to the virtue of sobriety on our podcast and Deep Dive on type 7. We also have lots of freebies on learning more about the tendencies of a 7 right here!

Type 8 - In an unhealthy 8 state, you have the vice of lust that keeps you indulging and exerting yourself and your will upon others, which blocks you from your own virtue of child-like and caring innocence as well as the deeper understanding of God’s justice a relationship. Listen further to the work to get from the vice of the 8 to the virtue of innocence on our podcast and Deep Dive on type 8. We also have lots of freebies for learning more about the tendencies of an 8 right here!

Type 9 - In an unhealthy 9 state, you have the vice of sloth or lethargy that blocks you from stepping into action for yourself in a relationship. Listen further to the work to get from the vice of the 9 to the virtue of action on our podcast and Deep Dive on type 9. We also have lots of freebies on learning more about the tendencies of a 9 right here!

I’m so thankful to take this topic on with Tyler, as he comes in humbly and yet with hope. Tyler talks candidly about the highs and lows of marriage and the ways the community of God has held him to higher standards of love and grieving with those who grieve as he and his wife walked through infertility and his multi-ethnic church has learned to walk together through the last two years.

I'm always wowed as I reflect later on how our guests share a piece of their hearts and true stories of vulnerability with us so we can learn and I'm reminded of just how much we need not only community but gracious second chances as well. I'm taking another step toward growth with you as we tune in together!